To be clear, I’m not saying that I’ve been on twenty five first dates to be able to share my experiences from. What I am saying is that I’ve been on twenty four first dates. With that being said, I’m willing to share my tips and hopefully you learn a thing or two from them! The following is just a few of many, many different ways dating can be handled when you have a life-threatening allergy. Try to use these tips and stories as insights into making your own unique style of dating!
- Be yourself- no one is more awesome than you, so let your qualities shine through!
- Tell your date about your allergy early on. If they are interested in the awesome person you are, they won’t judge you for it.
- Bring up your allergy casually. With technology being what it is, most dates are planned through texting these days so why not use this to your advantage! Play a fun fact or question game. Ask about favourite desserts or meals and tell your date what you’re allergic to this way. Or, you can ask about three unique features about them and they may ask you back! You may find they are very interested in hearing about your allergy!
- Tell it as it is. “I have an allergy, it is serious if I come in contact with my allergen, do you understand?”
- Offer assistance. The worst thing you can do is make your date feel awkward about your allergy. Offer to help him/her adjust to your lifestyle.
- Try not to be afraid of telling your date about your allergy. If they like you, they will understand and be happy that you shared it with them.
- Answer their questions or concerns honestly.
- Prepare ahead of time! Even if the date is a spontaneous flurry of events, try to prepare by calling restaurants and venues in advance to go through the menu with a manager or chef.
- Remind or inform the staff at restaurants about the severity of your allergy.
- Ask, then kiss. If your date has eaten your allergen that day, don’t risk it! Hopefully you’ve already mentioned your allergy to your date before, but if not, now might be an opportune time!
- Shower. That’s a given.
- Brush your teeth. Every date loves good breath.
- Keep your auto-injector on you at all times.
- Teach your date about your auto-injector and let them know where you keep it.
- Compromise. This is a great general dating tip but it can also be applied to your allergy. If your date/significant other relies on your allergen for their own dietary needs, compromise and set some ground rules of when it is safe and when it is not safe to be eaten around you.
- Have fun!
- See Tip #10.
- Smile.
- Pick a fun and safe first date location. I like to plan surprise dates but I always stick to places I know and trust to help shift most of my focus to the dating experience rather than my allergy. Of course I always double-check but familiarity with an allergy-safe place can be key.
- Wash your hands! This is a good hygienic habit but it also limits the risk of cross-contamination.
- Pack a snack. Put an allergen-free snack in your purse, bag, backpack, jacket, pants, hat? Sometimes it’s nice to have the comfort of knowing you will at least have one safe thing to eat wherever you go.
- Be honest. This is another great general dating tip but if you feel uncomfortable or are anxious about a situation with your allergen present, voice your concerns! In this case, honesty can be the best policy.
- Keep your auto-injector on you at all times. Oh, I said that one already? I guess that means it’s important.
- Try to avoid poppy seed bagels and anything with spinach before a date. Your smile will thank me for that one!
- Laugh. Why? Because, laughing is fun and everyone wants fun dates!
First dates can be nerve-wracking experiences at the best of times, so try not to add any un-needed pressure on yourself; prepare ahead of time, make it a habit, and the fun parts will naturally follow!
